keen anticipation

by ann

I saw you at Amy’s wedding but it was a tease of a time except for those perfect few hours after the reception. We bypassed the bars and clubs and just walked. Talking. We searched for a quiet spot to hole up in for awhile but ended up back at the hotel lounge, settling into a booth and ordering a latte for me, a beer for you. I was tired to my bones from the wee amount of sleep I had been surviving on but I couldn’t tear my eyes from you. Yes, we call and text and webcam but to have you beside me.. I felt complete.

Now I am waiting with keen anticipation for your arrival. Your plane has been delayed for the third time; I am holding my breath in hopes that another hour is not tacked onto the flight. It’s really too much to bear. I try not to anticipate these reunions too much for this exact reason: the most subtle but sharp pang from disappointment. I miss you. So very much.

Is it sad to say that I don’t dream anymore of the future? I look at the here and now because to think of us being together is a cruel thing to do to myself. Such thoughts are too sweet and makes the ache of being so far away from you that much more unbearable.

I plan on taking a nap so it will seem like seconds until you will be here. Have a safe flight, love.

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