oh, idle time

by ann

Readers, I like to believe I’m an adult. I worry over fixed versus variable interest rates for loans.  There’s a studio that has my name, and only my name, on it. But these are material aspects. My mind is firmly rooted in a simpler world. I shy away from news; my primary source for breaking headlines is Mat. This makes me naïve about matters of the world but it works for me. News makes me doubt our ability to care for one another. From child sex abuse cover-ups to bullying the elderly to the recent Colorado shooting, I am thrown by the perversity that taints our society. Mat and I have discussed this ad nauseam: the desire to inflict pain upon others, the rationalizations one makes that allows him to crush others and rise from their ashes. How can we protect ourselves? Our children? Our lives feel naked, exposed to chance. We do not know how to reason these moments. They deflate our optimism and harden our hearts until we become increasingly desensitized but, senseless as it may seem at times, we can only turn the tide by being good to others ourselves. Value our family and friends but also share that kinship with others.

There’s no easy way to segue from such earnest discourse to the minutiae of my everyday life but to say that I hold each moment with the people I love, no matter how trivial, dearer. Let’s forge ahead.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASarah and I met up with intentions to make a fruit tart today but opted instead to trek to Ikea for Swedish meatballs and too-sweet cinnamon buns. To justify the drive, I picked up a white trimmed terrarium house and a ceramic pot for a boxwood I’ve had my eye on. Heading home, sleep began to press insistently on us but Sarah had a class to attend and I wandered off to hang out with Jin who had just gotten off work.

Jin has returned from Taiwan, a vision with her newly honey-colored hair. We scoured for makeup at a pharmacy store- Jin’s favorite activity- before traipsing off for iced drinks and gossip. Neither one of us were particularly hungry and opted instead for manicures and pedicures in Big Apple Red. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Feels fitting since I’ll be moving to the East coast soon.

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