all too real

by ann

I spent a few hours the other day cleaning Mat’s apartment. Not because I’m a sweet and dedicated girlfriend, I’m afraid, but because my things had exploded throughout the entire place. Mat has a pretty high tolerance for my mess but he finally scolded me and so cleaning had to be done.

While doing the dreaded dishes, I realized I should begin some packing for moving. So I found some boxes and luggage, which attests to how much I have here, and began sorting away clothes and makeup. As I reached for my photography linens underneath the coffee table, I looked up and sadness flooded me.

A heap of my things lay near the door. Otherwise, the apartment was tidy and infinitely more masculine without high heels strewn on the floor or bouquets made from leftover wedding flowers.  The cleanliness made leaving home, leaving Mat feel all too real.

It’s six plus years now with four spent in different cities. These past two spent together have been blissful. And now there’s at least a year we’ll have to spend apart. A year isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things but I’ve been spoiled by seeing him so often now. There isn’t a particular course of action we plan to take to make the time pass more painlessly except to use all forms of communication and prowl the internet for cheap airplane tickets.